


The Time We Were Together

by koi_ling



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Epic Love, Fate & Destiny, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Painter Mino, Scientist Seungyoon, Superpowers, epic love story but make it angst, tears are coming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:40:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23443351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koi_ling/pseuds/koi_ling
Summary: Mino and Seungyoon fall in love with each other, and everything is perfect until Seungyoon foresees something bad is going to happen. Superpowers AU! A tragic love story like the movie ones.
Relationships: Kang Seungyoon/Song Minho | Mino
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	The Time We Were Together

Song Mino didn’t believe in fate.

He knew, better than anyone, that there was no such thing. He had experienced on his own skin how every decision you made was what led you to a certain point in your life and to the person you called yourself, nothing more than that. There were trivial choices that didn’t change the outcome of a day, but when added up together they traced the path to your future. And he knew how choosing something instead of another thing could twist the course of events, even when it seemed a harmless choice.

He had known this since his sixteenth birthday.

April 7, 2012

“What do you mean you can’t come to the inauguration of my bar? You’re a fool, Song Mino, if you think you might survive my wrath. You’re my best friend, you’re my half, the apple of my eye – you little bastard, if you miss this, I’ll hang you from your dick and feed you to Haute later”.

Mino sighed, his phone propped between his shoulder and his ear, and looked at what he had planned to do that night. He had prepared everything, from the canvas to the colours, its draft stuck on the left upper corner of the big half-completed painting. He studied the dots of colours he had already traced, and the little details blossoming from one point or another, forming a scene he had still to grasp and ultimate.

“I want you here by 8pm. I mean it”.

“Yeah, sure”. Mino shifted, grabbing the phone and giving his back to the canvas, and then stepped inside his flat, sighing at loud while he ended the call. He headed to the closet, figuring he could wear the black skinny jeans he liked along with one of his fancy shirts – his hand skimmed through the clothes and stopped on a grey one, wavering. Maybe, Mino pondered, he might need a more serious look. He could meet someone nice, tonight.

He glanced at the t-shirt with Donald Duck one last time and chose the grey one instead, sighing theatrically as he closed the closet behind his back and headed to the bathroom.

Mino was always the life of party, the most sociable of his group of friends and also the one that preferred to stay with others instead of being alone, no matter how tired he was. So it wasn’t too hard to postpone his work for something like that, even if a part of him was bothered by the interruption of his supposed creativity.

He scoffed at himself, looking at the mirror while he fixed his hair in a messy style that was anything but unplanned. For few weeks, he had been actually stuck in a constant state of apathy and emptiness that made it hard to even take the brush in his hand and start painting, and even when he tried he didn’t get the result he wanted. Maybe a change of surroundings could do much more than simply offering him a distraction or get him laid for the night. 

With his usual confident smirk, Mino looked at himself one last time. He was going to have a good time, he told himself, knowing that his attitude was what he needed to truly enjoy himself. Wanting something always led to having it, for him.

To Seunghoon’s contentment, the place was crowded, people gathering there most probably for the free buffet. After being sure Seunghoon saw him, whilst mouthing a “you can’t feed me to your dog tonight”, Mino didn’t lose the chance to fill his stomach, too. The plate in his left hand was already full but he was trying to put some other food as special topping; he was unsure between the fried squids and the last slice of pizza, lying all alone and tempting in a big silver plate.

Mino turned and moved to get the latter, when another hand snatched it right under his nose. Mino jolted and burst in a squeaked “mine”, unable to stop his natural reaction, quickly silenced by the appearance of the person right in front of him. The thief was pretty, Mino reasoned, and he was looking at him like he was some sort of annoyance, all thick lips pouting and sparkling eyes squinted in an expression that could mean both _who the fuck are you_ and _hands down from my pizza_.

Lovely, the kind who could take his breath away.

“O-of course it’s yours”, Mino tempered his earlier honest reaction, trying to make a good impression, if it was possible after his self-claimed ownership on the pizza still in the stranger’s hand. “I didn’t mean we should fight over – maybe we could cut it in half?”, he suggested, feeling stupid the moment he said it out loud. He fidgeted with the neck of his shirt, knowing he had been shameless, but he really needed an excuse to stay in his presence a little longer. He couldn’t think of another moment of his night there without openly staring at this stranger and maybe flirting with him along the way.

The man made a surprised face, looking even cuter than before, which made Mino wish he could just play along, bear with his stupidity and stay with him for another while. “You just said it’s mine, why would I share it with you?” he pointed out quite earnestly, but a hint of a playful smile ghosted on his lips. Even the faintest of his smiles was good enough to make Mino crave for more.

Even when serious, Mino was good at making people laugh most of the time. He hoped that the stranger would fall for his cheekiness. “Well, I thought you could match your appearance and be as good inside as you look outside”, this ran smoothly on his tongue, but then he giggled out nervously, noticing how he was looking at him in disbelief. “Maybe?”

“So lame”, the guy said, pinching his nose in obvious frustration, but then he couldn’t help but grin at Mino. “Really, man, you should upgrade your pick up lines, if you want to impress someone”.

“It’s fine as long as it works with just one person”, Jesus, he needed to be a lyricist, words came out from his mouth without even asking and way too smoothly. Too bad he had decided to paint instead.

“I almost thought you were picking specifically on me, but I guess just one person could mean the poor one who falls for it”, the man said, his lips quirking in a smile that made Mino’s insides flip one-eighty. It was sharp and confident and… suggestive. He bit the pizza in his hand, his big lips sucking on the melting cheese, while Mino swallowed hard and hoped he could still remember his name after this ended. He flashed his best smirk to him, feeling overwhelmed by the effect the stranger had on him.

“I must have been too much, you’re quiet”. He said after eating the whole slice and licking his lips – action that had driven Mino crazy, by the way – and he was ready to go away when Mino tugged his sleeve in an attempt to stop him. “What?” a glimpse of delight glowing in his eyes as he looked at him again.

“I’m not usually someone who shuts up so easily. Or gives up on pizza. I think I deserve a second chance… mister?”

“Seungyoon”, he turned around to face him properly, this time. Mino could bet he was extremely amused by this, the smile now plastered on his face giving it away too easily. _Seungyoon_.

“Mino”.

He nodded and looked at him in the eye. “Well, Mino, how do you think you could make things better?”

“A drink?”, he pointed at the long counter on a side of the bar, hidden by the amount of people crowding around it. Seungyoon nodded again and Mino just beamed, forgetting the plate he had just filled for many minutes with all the food he wanted to eat, leaving it on the buffet table, his hand naturally itching to touch Seungyoon shoulder and lead him through the crowd.

“Seungyoon-ah, here you are! I was looking for you the whole time”, a man stopped them before they could reach the counter, looking like he couldn’t accept a no as an answer. “You said we would hang together tonight!”, he continued, eying Mino while wincing. “Or maybe… you…”

“It’s ok, you’re right, Jinwoo, I promised”, Seungyoon said, much to Mino’s dismay. He looked at him with an apologetic smile and then followed his friend, but quickly turned back to stare at Mino for few seconds, making it clear that he didn’t want their game – or how they could call that messy attempt of flirting – to end like that. Not just yet.

Mino followed him with his eyes, his whole being longing for another moment together. He had always wanted to try a quickie in such a public space, maybe in the bathroom or somewhere else, but he found himself being totally fine by just looking at him a little longer. The thought of making him weak in his knees with the cheesiest line he could think of was what occupied his mind. Something along “I think I have been reborn again tonight, thanks to you” would be fine.

He snorted at himself and downed the drink he had in his hand, searching for him in the crowd. He truly stood out – he was a little bit too skinny, maybe, but handsome nonetheless and he had this special something that made him the centre of his attention, some sort of magnetic pull that couldn’t be win over.

“I am pretty good myself”, Mino muttered when Seungyoon looked straight at him, like sensing his stare on his skin, and smiled at him only. He grinned back at Seungyoon.

“What are you doing, dude?”, Seunghoon asked him right in his ear, making Mino jump in surprise. He looked at his best friend with a small quirk of his lips and talked in his ear, all conspiratorial and smug. “Flirting with the prettiest man in the room”.

“So you’re not interested in my friend? I made it sure she would come, tonight”, Seunghoon said and as usual he didn’t sound particularly bothered by that, just vaguely amused by the news. That was his normal way to deal with things, unless it was his bar’s inauguration and he threatened to feed your body to his dog.

Mino tried to suppress his wide smile, but then Seungyoon looked at him again, a glint of playfulness in his eyes, and he grinned so broadly his cheeks hurt in the process. “I can’t really turn my back to this fine specimen, you know”.

Seunghoon just shrugged his shoulders and didn’t miss the chance to provide him with a glass of something that dangerously looked like rum. Mino stared back and Seunghoon was holding another glass in his hand, ready to toast with him. “I hope it’s worthy, man”.

For how he could feel his stomach filling with butterflies and pleasurable tingles spreading right at the end of his spine when Seungyoon looked at him, Mino was pretty sure it was. He raised his glass and toasted at that night, an unbreakable smile plastered on his face.

When he walked outside the bar to catch his breath and enjoy the chill air after the too-much alcohol he had drank that night, Mino wasn’t sure whether to wait for him or not. He felt dizzy and like he truly needed a bed, and they hadn’t promised anything to each other, yet he couldn’t quite forget his eyes, staring at him from time to time, no matter where he was or what he was doing, and the way his body reacted to it was enough to make him stay put.

He tried to cool down, the alcohol making him nauseous but the chill breeze alleviating the pain. He felt the world spinning around him and he had the promptness to lean on the wall behind. He shouldn’t have accepted Seunghoon’s special cocktail, after the glass of rum and another round of gin mixed with spices and stuff he didn’t even know the name of.

Fucking Lee Seunghoon and his unstoppable way to make people do whatever he wanted. Mino cursed at him while shaking his fist, before covering his mouth as he tried to fight the nausea.

“Hey”, at that he jerked his head up, to catch a glimpse of Seungyoon smiling right before he inched closer and collided with him. Mino’s back met the wall and he wobbled his arms around him before he decided to settle them on his waist.

“Are you drunk?” he whispered on his cheek, unsure of what to do with that sudden proximity he had longed for since earlier. He felt like he was going to lose it, soon.

“Not as much as you. There is just something I have to do before I go – my friend Jinwoo is still waiting for me, I promised I would be with him all night long, but don’t worry, I won’t do anything bad. Actually he just broke up with his boyfriend, he needs a shoulder to cry on. And there is something I saw that must happe–”, he stopped himself from blabbering too much, putting a skinny hand on his lips.

“You are really drunk”, Mino stated, and he would have sounded playful if he hadn’t felt like shit at the moment. Instead, his voice came out low and a bit scratchy. He tried to fight back the disgust inside his body and just focus on Seungyoon.

Seungyoon looked at him. Really. Longingly. Intently. Like he had done all night long. Just that this time they were all tangled together and his face was only a breath away from his own and Mino just knew that something, not the sickness, something else was twisting his insides in a way he had forgotten in ages. He swallowed hard and then Seungyoon was over him.

His lips were sleepy for the too much alcohol, but he could clearly feel his tongue inside him, a warm dot moving slowly at first, then delving and twisting as his hands gripped Mino’s hair. Mino grumbled and pulled him closer, easily losing himself in the haze of the kiss. When they broke apart, he found himself breathless, his senses even blurrier than before, his heartbeat thumping in his ears as he tried to calm down and focus on Seungyoon, once again.

He was grinning widely, like he wasn’t unaffected at all, but Mino noticed the flush on his cheeks and the redness of his swollen lips, and the way he beamed when Mino looked at him in the eye. “Check the pocket of your shirt, when you’ve cleared your mind”. He stuck out his tongue, playfully, and Mino wished he was sure-footed enough to walk and kiss that confidence away, but instead he leaned on the wall once again and smiled at him.

“I’ll call for sure”, he said when Seungyoon was already walking away, making him turn and nod at him, flashing a smile that made Mino weak in the knees.

Damn, he was glad he could steady himself with the wall behind him.

When he was sure he felt better, he headed to his place with a new energy bouncing inside him, making him walk faster and faster as ideas built up in his mind.

 _Inspiration_. That wonderful, amazing feeling of being able to do everything in the world, without even a worry to stop him from doing it. That certainty that everything made by his hand would just be full of everything he felt in this very moment – which he couldn’t really explain, not in words, but he could paint until it existed in images –; the beauty of ideas popping up in his mind in an endless coloured stream of sheer exhalation.

He rushed up the stairs and barely closed the door behind him, heading to the covered canvas he had left in the huge room, which basically was his whole flat, excluding the small kitchenette and the bathroom. The sleeping area was on the right, along with the closet and everything else, while the living area was on the left, and the balcony ran the whole length of the room. The door opening on it was right in the middle of the room. He used to paint out there when he could, enjoying the natural light of the day, like he had done this afternoon, but now it was just too late and he didn’t have a reason to carry the whole equipment out, nor the patience. So he just flipped the cover down on the ground and rushed to take his brush and his palette to get started.

There was a lot of indecision in the brushes he had traced before, shapeless dots and vague lines that could be anything, even if he was pretty sure he just wanted to paint something that could make him feel warm inside. Now, his hand was firm and his strokes were confident, the inspiration flowing through his hand as he thought of Seungyoon, his smile, his way to play with his heart so easily, his lips pressed against his own; the brush didn’t halt one time, like something inside him was instructing him about every little decision he should take, and like that the painting took life.

Till it was dawn and the sun marked that a new day had started.

April 13, 2012

That was the day of their first date. Seungyoon had decided that the best place they could go to was a pizzeria and Mino couldn’t say anything against it. Really, it made so much sense he had to kiss Seungyoon as soon as he proposed it, right in the middle of the café where they had decided to meet, that late afternoon.

Seungyoon chuckled against his lips, his hands finding their spot around his hips like they had always belonged in there. Mino was sure they had.

April 20, 2012

“How did you know I love The Avengers? This is amazing”, Mino flaunted the tickets Seungyoon bought for the two of them.

Seungyoon wavered for a second, before answering: “I just had a feeling about it”.

It was the third date and Seungyoon liked superheroes as much as Mino did, which was perfect because this way they had just found a partner to watch the film with, but also not so perfect, because it was really hard to concentrate on the screen when they were sitting next to each other. Mino tried his best to care about the film, but his hand kept slipping to where Seungyoon had his one, and it was just natural to give in to his touch and fold his fingers around Seungyoon’s. He fought the urge to turn his head and kiss him, because it was kind of inappropriate and just too much by even the simple thought of it.

Which was something that Seungyoon wasn’t caring about, Mino reasoned when he tugged his hand and slid his fingers on his jaw, making him tilt his head enough to plant a kiss on his mouth. Mino mumbled that he couldn’t miss the action scene, but everything he wanted was to give in to Seungyoon and his ravishing lips.

They decided to buy another pair of tickets and just find a quiet place to cuddle (and make out) while waiting.

July 21, 2012

Seungyoon liked to play around with Mino, his fingers always tickling his skin or hooking around his shirts, his smile broad and a little cocky, the way that made Mino itch for some air. He liked to talk, but he enjoyed silences even more, wherein he could just stretch his arms like a cat and lean in Mino’s side-hug. He was a good listener, actually, which was always nice when Mino felt the need to tell him weird anecdotes and stories he had collected during his life, and even better because Seungyoon always laughed at his jokes and his skinny body would always shake when he did so.

Mino liked to feel him laughing right against his side, vibrating in a way that made his insides melt. Mino loved to check that everything was as it should be, fixing the neck of his shirts and the few hair strands sticking out of place, and Seungyoon reciprocated that action eagerly. Mino also found out that Seungyoon – even if he looked like he ate two spoons of rice a day – enjoyed food as much as he did and so it was more than natural to just bring him along in his continuous discovery of new places where to eat. 

It was simply natural, with them. In a way Mino couldn’t imagine it was possible, but it made sense for them.

Yet it was true that they had different tastes and opinions too. Mino had shrugged his shoulders when Seungyoon had told him that rock was the finest genre of music, and argued back that it was all about point of views and hip-hop was what made him the happiest. They had ended up making a playlist of twenty songs to listen to and their last date had been of them sitting in a café, hand in hand, each one listening to the music chosen by the other, now and then whispering appreciative comments to each other.

It was also known that, even if they were both laid-back and outgoing, no one could be as much of a social butterfly as Mino was, but that was fine – or even more, because Seungyoon could make Mino take a break, bringing him where there was room for only the two of them to catch his breath, and that was so much needed.

And it was also true that Mino expressed himself through art while Seungyoon, however enjoying it, was a student of Biochemistry and a passionate lover of System Biology.

They had enough time to get to know each other, from arranged dates to casual meetings, from restaurants and taverns to cafés and pubs, from films at the theatres and walks in the park to lazy afternoons in the library Seungyoon always went to when he needed to concentrate on his studies, and it wasn’t much of a surprise when that day, July 21, Seungyoon told him that “fuck, I think I kinda like you”, blurting out those few words after they had kissed on a bench.

After the sweets they had earlier, Seungyoon’s lips tasted of lemon pastries and Mino found it delicious. He was ready to kiss him again, but those words stopped him to do so and he just broke in a sincere laugh that made Seungyoon crease his face in deflated surprise.

“I really like you, too”, Mino smiled and Seungyoon pinched his cheek, puffing out in relief. “A lot”, he whispered before closing the distance between them.

August 4, 2012 

That night of summer they made love for the first time.

The sky had turned black in a matter of minutes, the wind fast and strong, clouds amassing and lightning, cracking and breaking the quiet of the evening. The storm caught them in the middle of their date, hand in hand, Seungyoon talking about that time he went to a Muse concert and he had to run for his life to get into the pit. He was just starting to tell him about how he had ended up moshing – he might look a bit too skinny for that, but he was strong enough – when the first drops tickled their skin, and then the storm started, pouring and soaking them from head to toe in less than two minutes.

Mino suggested going to his place, luckily just few streets away from there, and when Seungyoon agreed he promptly led the way. They ran like they had been chased, wings at their heels. Somewhere along the way, Seungyoon broke in a laugh and Mino followed, too exhilarated by the whole situation. He didn’t stop holding Seungyoon’s hand even when he had to open the door to his apartment and just led him inside.

They broke the contact so that Mino could go to the bathroom and find some towels to wipe them a bit, and Mino wondered if it was normal to miss that lean, cold hand wound around his own, even for such a little span of time. He came back to the big room and saw Seungyoon at the door opening on his balcony, intently watching the blue and white flashes crossing the dark sky. 

Mino wrapped the towel on his head and started rubbing his hair, and Seungyoon turned around to smile at him, like only he could do, warm and soft, all red lips waiting for a kiss to seal them. Mino leaned forward and Seungyoon just pressed himself on his torso, hugging him in the kiss.

It was so easy to fall into it, to let his feelings speak for them, to drag Seungyoon to his bed and make him lie down on the mattress, while he hovered over him. He could see him slightly shivering for how soaked he was, even if the air was sultry, and Mino covered his body with his, warming him up. He was shaking too, but he was sure it wasn’t for the rain. 

Seungyoon’s skin was wet and cold, a pale sea to cover with red love marks, and Mino’s mouth drank from it voraciously, until Seungyoon grew restless and pulled him in another steamy kiss. Mino let himself give in and melt, their hands fumbling on each other in an impatient game of getting the other completely naked in the fastest way possible. Till there was nothing separating their bodies, till their skin could touch and they could get used to the impulse of clinging on the other one.

When he sunk inside him, Mino let Seungyoon grip his wet hair, his fingers curled around it painfully. He let Seungyoon dig his nails in his nape and fill his ears with his chanting voice, and in that way he gave himself the chance of getting lost inside him. Going down with the flow, simply yielding to the force that Seungyoon had on him, diving in the pleasure till he was only a little speck of consciousness in the vastness of the sea.

What he felt that day was something he wished to experience all over again, yet it was even more precious as it was unique. There wouldn’t ever be another first coy glance at Seungyoon’s naked body under him or another first hesitating push inside him.

Mino decided it had to stay that way.

December 24, 2012

Mino had planned a grand event for Seungyoon, all the details written on a heart-shaped notebook that Seunghoon didn’t lose the chance to make fun of (for several days), but everything had gone astray when he found out that Seungyoon had planned even something bigger for him. They ended up doing nothing – “fuck it”, Seungyoon had said after twenty minutes of uncertainty on what to do that evening – and eating together at Seungyoon’s place, with plates full of _jokbal, kimpab_ and _pajeon_ along with soju and a cake they had luckily found in a bakery shop not far from there.

“This is definitely better than the Thai restaurant I had booked”, Mino confessed, licking the grease from his fingers. Seungyoon inched closer, scooting to his side. “Or than that sushi place full of snobbish people with so much money they could buy the whole place. We don’t need them, not as much as we need soju”. He filled his glass to the rim and drank it.

Seungyoon leaning in made Mino chuckle. “And in there I couldn’t possibly do this”, he darted out his tongue and licked the side of Mino’s mouth. He giggled at his stunned face and got back to eating, clasping a pork foot between his fingers as he worked his way to the meat, teeth gnawing and lips stretching around the fleshy piece.

Mino tried to calm down, but gave up when Seungyoon pouted and sucked his index finger to clean it. He just put aside the food, for once, and went straight to eat his target. Seungyoon didn’t complain at all, ready to welcome him in his arms.

When they both were sated and Mino found his favourite spot in the crook of Seungyoon’s neck and settled his chin there, it was natural to let his words flow between them. He told Seungyoon how lucky he was to have him, how inspired he was since he had met him, how colours and images and ideas would come in the most absurd moments and make him _need_ to paint them out.

“Are you having one of those inspired moments, now?” Seungyoon questioned, a glint of fond playfulness in his eyes. Mino nodded at that and Seungyoon raised his hands to rub his cheeks with his thumbs. “Then you can use me as your canvas”.

Mino didn’t find much to work with in Seungyoon’s drawers, but used everything he had to paint the emotion pumping in his veins instead of blood. When he had finished, his legs straddling Seungyoon’s waist and his hands covered in colours, Seungyoon asked him what it was.

“ _Love_ ”, he said, pointing at his work drawn on Seungyoon’s skin. “That’s the title”.

Seungyoon just smiled knowingly and pulled him closer.

It was by far the best Christmas’ Eve Mino had ever had. And Seungyoon was on the same page.

May 17, 2013

That was the day they moved in together.

Mino thought it was like one of those life-changing twists in the apparently linear flow of everyone’s existence. He could feel it with his whole body – the happiness, the excitement, the wholeness of this moment: of the moment when he put the tag of “Song and Kang” on the intercom, and when he bickered with Seungyoon on how to dispose their couch and how they used it to make up after that, and when every furniture and furnishing was finally in place and so was Mino, exactly in place, dozing off in Seungyoon’s arms on their new bed.

July 5, 2013

Another turn in their lives happened that night. It was few hours past midnight and they were sleeping together, Mino all hunched to hug Seungyoon, when Seungyoon had a nightmare.

Mino was a light sleeper and he woke up instantly as Seungyoon yelled in his sleep. He drew back a little from the warmth of his body, his eyes scanning the situation: Seungyoon was frowning, his eyes moving behind his eyelids, his lips pursed a moment, then the other back open as he mumbled, struggling with something that Mino could not see. His right hand gripped Mino’s arm, while the other was about his chest.

This wasn’t the first time Seungyoon tensed up for a dream he was having, making Mino wake and fall asleep again after a minute, when he was sure Seungyoon was fine and he could just let it slide. This time he couldn’t do that, though.

He tried to call him, but Seungyoon usually needed more than some words to wake up – normally, Mino would slid his hands on his sides and nuzzle his neck, kissing and tickling his skin until Seungyoon would talk in his sleep voice and ask what time it was, or if he didn’t wake up at that, Mino would be naughty and bite his pecs or spank his butt, making Seungyoon jolt in his place. Yet now it was time to shake him from his dream, because Mino didn’t like how sweat was wetting his fringe and forehead and how quickly his eyes shifted under his eyelids.

“No– not that way, not him”, Seungyoon shouted and Mino was there to bring him back to reality. He only needed few yanks before Seungyoon opened his eyes in shock and looked at him, baffled and speechless.

He needed some moments to recognize that it was Mino hovering over him and not some stranger – from confused his stare became wary, as realization sank inside him. “Did you…”

“What?”

“Nothing”, Seungyoon whispered. “It was nothing”.

Mino raised his hand to brush the sweaty hair away from his forehead but Seungyoon recoiled from his touch. “It didn’t look like nothing, it was pretty intense even for me”, he moved cautiously and smiled triumphantly when Seungyoon let him touch him, even if he avoided Mino’s eyes, “are you ok? You made me worry”.

“Yeah… it was just a dream…” his voice faded out when Mino cupped and tilted his face, levelling his stare to his, and inched closer to face him.

“You sure?” he baby-talked him, like he did sometimes, without adding the aegyo Seungyoon called ugly (even if his wasn’t much better) but secretly enjoyed so much. Mino knew he was weak for that, for how sweet and caring he could be to him. (Actually, it was a bit of a challenge, for they both were too cheesy and corny for their own good, and Seunghoon kept saying that it was some sort of blessing that they got together because otherwise they would be weapons ready to destroy the life of random poor innocent souls. Silly man).

Seungyoon glanced at him, wavering at his serious stare. He frowned and looked away, worrying his lips as he mulled over something. Mino gave him time to think about it, his hands busy with his damp hair, tucking the strands behind his ears tenderly.

“It _wasn’t_ a dream”. He muttered warily, the words hanging in the air. There was something in the way Seungyoon uttered them that stated there was more than met the eye.

Mino went quiet, his hands falling on his sides as he stared at Seungyoon. He waited for Seungyoon to be the one taking the first step.

“Actually, I shouldn’t really say this. I’m not supposed to”.

Mino nodded slightly and reached for his hand. Seungyoon opened his fist and gave in to his touch, intertwining their fingers, a small smile breaking his gloomy mood.

He pouted like he always did when something wasn’t like it’s supposed to be. “I don’t know why, but I expected you to pry around. You’ve been strangely quiet”, he mumbled, his thumb tracing little circles on the back of Mino’s hand.

Mino just grinned. “I have my secrets too”.

“Every one of us does”.

Mino squeezed his hand and looked at him, intently. Seungyoon looked back, this time without faltering. That was enough, they felt the same when it came to this.

“But I can trust you. I know it. This is the first time it happens to me… I feel like I can tell you this”, a soft smile tugged the corners of his lips upwards, and his eyes sparkled fondly, “If it’s you, it’s fine”. He said those words meaning so much more and Mino knew that Seungyoon just felt like they were perfect for each other and there was nothing that could change that. It was easy to trust each other, when you were sure this would last. They would last.

“It’s–”

“There is something I must tell you, first”, Mino stopped him, like he had decided to do since earlier.

It was something he must do, after how Seungyoon had opened up to him and been honest in everything. Mino had been moved by his sincerity – he knew they were perfect together, he knew they could trust each other, but this didn’t meant they couldn’t have secrets between them. And yet Seungyoon had been so honest, so raw, so overwhelming that it had changed something inside him. Mino had never talked about his own secret with someone, but he knew he could do it with him and he had to do it now.

All of this was something Mino had decided to make it happen _again_ and change it, since he had been woken by Seungyoon shifting and talking in his sleep and Seungyoon had confessed everything to him.

“Now I’m going to tell you things I could only possibly know because it was you telling me about it”. Seungyoon gaped at him, confused. “And that’s because I’ve been able to travel back in time since my sixteenth’s birthday. This is not the first time I live this. Theoretically it’s not your first time, either”. He grinned, amused.

“W-what are you talking about?”

Mino squeezed the hand he was holding once again, hoping that would be enough to make it clear he was here for him. “What I mean it’s exactly what I said. I know what you want to tell me. I know it because you already told me, even if you can’t remember. The moment I decided to go back in time, I erased those events”.

Seungyoon just furrowed his brow, unable to utter a word.

“It’s been just few hours ago, for me. I woke up like I just did and tried to calm you from your dream. That’s when you decided it was time to be honest and tell me everything… everything about your family. This is something you have in your blood, something ancient. You’ve always lived with it, since you were born. Like me, but my power works differently. You told me you have these _visions_ … they are like waves that take control of your body, you can’t predict when you’ll have them or stop them. Luckily, they mostly happen at night, when you’re sleeping”.

Seungyoon started to look less confused and more wary than before. Mino tugged his hand and kissed his palm, gently. “I’m sorry if this is too sudden, but I thought it was the best way to show you that I’m not faking it. It’s real. My power is real. You must see that I couldn’t possibly know these th-“

“Yes”, Seungyoon whispered. “I have never talked about it with anyone outside my family. And I can trust them. There is no one who could say you those things… but me”.

“This power of yours is something you can’t control, like I said. Mine is different because I choose to use it. I must concentrate to be able to go back… while yours is something you can’t avoid. You told me that it’s not always related to your own life, the visions can be about others too, but usually it’s about people close to you. Tonight you saw Jinwoo meeting his ex-boyfriend again and you are worried because you saw him falling for him once more, which is not good after how hurt he was and how much he cried for that bastard. You want to change his future, meet him that night so this won’t happen”.

Seungyoon looked surprised, like he hadn’t thought of that yet. But Mino had lived few hours of him talking and rambling over his ability and the need to keep Jinwoo safe, and he knew well what to say. “About this, you can’t see all the futures. Future is not set into stones, so you usually see something that’s going to happen soon, something that is _most likely_ going to happen, because of odds and choices the person will make, but it’s not always accurate”.

“Fuck”, Seungyoon mumbled. “You really came back from… the future or whatever we’re gonna call it, because well, that’s something that didn’t happen, you changed it by coming back here, in this moment”.

“I did”, Mino nodded, confirming what he had said earlier. “I can travel back in time and live something again and choose differently. This will naturally change the course of events of the first… timeline. Every choice has consequences”.

Seungyoon knitted his brow, tilting his head. “Did you… ever… use it when we were together?”

Mino chewed his lip. “Maybe – twice. I try to not use it and just live with what I’ve done, you know, and enjoy my days the way they are… I didn’t come back in time for a long while, but – I had to use it when I was late by two hours for our first date. I missed my train and I took the next one, only to enjoy a temporary blackout and the train stopping for like… one hour, twenty metres underground. I had to change it – you weren’t there anymore, the time I got in the café, and I couldn’t accept that”, he rubbed his head, embarrassed. “The other time was when you asked me to live with you. I usually don’t do this, go back to live a good time more than once, but I couldn’t really resist, I wanted to see your smile when I said yes another time”.

Seungyoon chuckled lightly, a bit taken aback by his confession.

“Besides, every choice I take could change the future. It’s really not the safest thing to do to go back and change things, you can’t really know how that would turn out, especially the further you go back in the past”.

Seungyoon nodded, understanding. _“Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth”_ – he liked to quote that when he talked about his scientific studies. Mino travelling back in time made sense, it was logic, no matter how weird and absurd it could seem. Seungyoon was as strange as he was, so he was keenly open to the improbable, if that was included in the realm of rationality.

“What are the odds of you and me meeting and ending up together, though? We must be a joke to the universe”.

“I have no idea, really”, Mino admitted and stayed quiet as Seungyoon tried to calculate the probabilities, furrowing his brow as he mumbled numbers, his fingers tapping Mino’s hand. “I think we’re below the five percent, which is usually used as a threshold for things that don’t happen casually. Which means that our meeting must mean something”, he grinned suggestively and Mino went to kiss him, only to be stopped by Seungyoon’s hand on his chest.

Damn the man and his always-working brain.

“Wait! So I don’t need to tell you about how I found out about my powers, right? That’s what I would have probably talked about after I told you everything”.

Mino nodded. “Already done that”.

“And that I dreamt of you before we met?”

“That’s new”, Mino smiled. Seungyoon just grinned back at him, starting to tell him about how he had seen a young and handsome man hitting on him, and how he had to make it sure he would become his.

September 13, 2014

Everything was so nice and good that Mino sometimes couldn’t believe it, yet it was real.

Seungyoon was fucking, absolutely real, one-hundred and one percent, two-thousand-and-what-else bones, thirty-one-and-a-crooked teeth, one and one only fucking Kang Seungyoon, all for Song Mino.

They lived together since last year.

And they were happy. Truly, sincerely happy. In a way that made his heart ache because he couldn’t just imagine a better life for himself.

It was true that sometimes they bickered and sometimes they could be upset or tired or angry without a good reason, and sometimes they ended up not talking to each other, but it lasted few minutes because Mino couldn’t just stay silent and Seungyoon couldn’t just bear it for much longer. And even if they fought, everything came along naturally – the solution was around the corner and everything was soon forgotten. Mino knew how to make Seungyoon go back to him, how to melt his heart and turn his mood from pissed to complacent, and Seungyoon was even better than him at knowing how to make him smile again.

It was a season of rich and warm colours in his paintings – when he didn’t waste his time by sketching Seungyoon’s face and body all around the flat, making Seungyoon threaten him to cut down the sex if he didn’t behave – a season of inspiration and time to find himself once again, rediscovering his art and his style. It was a constant spring, a constant blossoming of things Mino didn’t consider at first.

In this happiness, Mino didn’t notice that it was yet again another important day in their life together.

When Seungyoon woke up with a scream, soaked in sweat, Mino assumed he had another vision and tried to calm him, lulling him back and forth as he whispered sweet nothings in his ears. He asked him what was about, telling him to talk about it so he could free himself of the ghost of it, but Seungyoon just shook his head and turned to hug him, his hands clenching on his back as he hid his face in Mino’s embrace.

Mino didn’t see the tears in Seungyoon’s eyes. Or how shaken he was by the vision, to the point he asked him to be quiet for a while, when usually he sought Mino’s voice.

And once more, Mino didn’t suspect a thing when Seungyoon told him he would go back to his hometown for few days to stay with his mother. He assumed he missed her.

September 22, 2014

Mino couldn’t hold his excitement as he went home that day, knowing that Seungyoon was finally back and for once there would be someone to welcome him instead of silence.

He had missed Seungyoon being Seungyoon all around their place: his cold hands wrapping around his torso in the night and his wet mouth planting kisses along his spine, or whispering silly jokes and lewd proposals in his ears; him sitting on his armchair in the living room, his laptop on his toned skinny legs while he read tons of scientific articles about this or that, his reading glasses placed on the bridge of his nose, inspiring Mino all kinds of fantasies every time he passed by, or him bringing groceries and pastries from the world outside, when Mino spent the whole day in his studio with a brush in his hand. Seungyoon nagging him that he needed to feed himself and wash and come to bed – come to _him_ , really – and sleep and also go back to reality to taste his heavenly skin.

It had been barely more than a week, and Mino knew it was exaggerated, but he had missed him tremendously. It might be his theatrical side, too, but he rushed anyway and walked briskly, almost tripping on the doormat when he opened the door.

He hugged Seungyoon as soon as he found him, standing by the counter, and Seungyoon leaned in his touch and gripped his hands on his shoulders, sighing instinctively. They stayed like that for a while, rejoicing that proximity.

“You look tired. Did you have too much fun at home?”, he joked, brushing his palm on his cheek. He looked more than tired: dark circles, pale skin, even his red lips were fainter than usual; like something had stressed him out and washed away his usual brightness. Still beautiful, to his eyes.

Seungyoon flashed a weary smile. “I didn’t sleep well”.

Mino searched for any hint suggesting it had been for some visions of his or any different reason, but Seungyoon looked away and didn’t let him in, avoiding his stare even if his hands were still around his forearms, keeping him there. Mino guessed he just needed time to tell him.

“Well, then, we could go nap for a little. I have no rush to complete my new piece and it’s not dinner time yet”.

They lied down on the bed, distant for a while, then Seungyoon slid his arms around Mino and placed his head on his chest. He breathed him in, sighing contently, and like that he fell asleep.

Mino hoped this sleep would be one without visions.

September 24, 2014

“I have seen it. I have seen it every night”.

A raspy admission he made between the sheets, when the moon was already high in the sky.

“I see it and I can’t avoid it, I can’t avert my eyes no matter how much I want it, because I’m sleeping and the vision is everywhere. It’s imprinted in my mind, it’s tattooed behind my eyelids. Everything is so vivid and yet blurred, like when you can’t grasp the whole picture but there are some details that stick with you, some you can’t forget.

I know how it will happen”.

Mino feared to ask what was going to happen, truly. He was scared by the hysteric note in Seungyoon’s voice and how strained and wrecked he sounded, how helpless and desperate and not Seungyoon he was in that moment. It had to be something big, he knew it.

“I have discussed it with my mother for a long time and it’s something I can’t avoid by my own. Not with the circumstances occurring that day. Not with the other visions I had. I have to be responsible for you too”.

He was too frantic, his eyes shifting as his talk became slurred, and Mino had to call him back to reality, by making Seungyoon look at him and be quiet for a little. Seungyoon chewed his lower lip, waiting, something inside him fighting to get out – truth, no matter how ugly and bad it was.

“What is gonna happen?” Mino finally asked, cowardly looking at his lips instead of his eyes, unable to see that something in there.

Seungyoon deflated and for a second he lingered in the silence, delaying that moment of honesty. He was scared, so much it made Mino want to scream and run away. But the desperation inside him was stronger than any other thing and he talked: “I am going to die”.

Mino wished this was a nightmare, for how sick and cruel it was, but there was something in his guts telling him it was plain reality. He heard himself let out a wail, and then he had to raise his eyes and look at him to be sure, once again, about it.

Seungyoon was there: defeated, afraid, broken.

“How? _Why_?” Mino managed to squeak.

He winced. “You know… that news I was waiting for like since forever. The university council is going to gather to appoint me as a researcher and I must attend, I must go there. I can’t skip it, I would be out otherwise. And that’s what I was waiting for my whole – _you know_ ”, he creaked and Mino could hear the tears in his voice, but Seungyoon’s eyes were dry. “So I can’t avoid it, I just can’t. I saw it clearly – my expensive suit for the occasion and me heading to the Biochemistry building – and… the man – the two of us –“

Mino felt the pain surging inside him, as Seungyoon turned quiet, his sharp intakes of air the only sound echoing in their ears. Mino felt it all, burning, killing him from inside without mercy.

Kang Seungyoon, his Seungyoon, his love… he couldn’t die like that.

“We could just go away –“

“That’s the assignment I was waiting for my whole life, Mino”, Seungyoon said, whining. “A life without it would be – that’s something I don’t want to think about”.

“But you’ll die!”, Mino screamed, all of sudden. Those words cut deeper than anything else. “I won’t let you – I won’t let you die, I don’t care what you want to do”.

Seungyoon looked at him and there was tenderness in that look, along with something Mino couldn’t pinpoint. He smiled softly. “I know you love me so you should accept my choices”.

“Not when it’s you dying for such a stupid reason”.

Seungyoon’s face darkened in anger. “Who would you be without your art, Mino? You shouldn’t underestimate the value of this work for me. I would be dead without it, just the same. And – I know, I know how much you care for me –“

“There is something you’re hiding from me”, Mino interrupted him. “But you should be honest, now more than ever”.

Seungyoon searched his hand and Mino reluctantly gave in, gripping his fingers around Seungyoon’s, trying to hold him there, with him, the longer he could. “I – I dreamed something else”, he shifted his eyes, unsure on how to go on, but Mino urged him to just say it. “Your death”.

“My –“

Seungyoon closed his eyes, thinning his lips in a line while few tears ran on his cheeks. He cleared his throat few times, trying to say those words. “You stopped – you stopped living after I was – you let yourself die, day by day, and – one day you were just too weak to – I saw your sister trying to help you, too, and I saw you eluding her surveillance, you standing on the rooftop –“, he stopped talking all at once.

Mino knew too well why.

Mino couldn’t imagine himself choosing to – god, he couldn’t even think of it. And yet, he couldn’t imagine a life without Seungyoon, a life worth calling it that way, at least.

“I won’t let you die, Seungyoon, I mean it”, he spoke after what seemed like hours. His voice was stronger than he expected, resolution making him sound so much more sure than he was at this moment.

Seungyoon nodded. “I don’t want _you_ to die, Mino. It doesn’t matter if I – ok, it matters, it does, but even if this is my fate, I just can’t let you – I can’t”.

“Fate doesn’t exist”, Mino whispered softly, eagerly, trying to comfort himself. “I have seen it with my two own eyes that one choice can change everything”.

“And this is what I wanted to talk about. I can’t, I won’t avoid that day, I will go to the university. I am sure there is at least a way to change the course of events and live even like that, you know? And I thought, my mother thought, you could be the variable needed to save me”.

Mino let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“You weren’t in my vision. In that blurry mess, at least. I thought it should be enough to – you know, if this was an experiment, a variable like you would be more than enough to change the outcome. I hope it is. I know it is”.

Mino nodded, finally understanding. “Yes. It must be like this”, he chuckled warily, leaning closer. “I will – we will change your future”.

They had to.

October 8, 2014

That was the day.

Mino felt like shit. He hadn’t slept at all last night and there was a whole sense of uneasiness coursing inside him. Maybe this was the reason common sense said it should be better to not know one’s future, because the knowledge itself would do more damage than what would happen later, but Mino couldn’t do otherwise. He feared his presence wouldn’t be enough to change the future, even though he had always boosted about how there was no fate but only choices to make.

Seungyoon looked better than him, his face a mask of sharp determination – he had always had nerves of steels, but Mino was sure it was also his way to feel scared: that indifference, that confidence, everything was his way to react to this kind of situation. He couldn’t falter, he wouldn’t accept it.

So it was Mino shaking in his place – or so he justified himself.

“Let’s go”, Seungyoon said, looking at his wristwatch. “Or I’ll be late”.

 _Maybe you should_. Mino didn’t say it. He nodded and followed him, anxiety eating him from inside at every step he took.

They reached the university soon enough. They had decided that every choice would be left to Mino, because it was Seungyoon’s will that would lead him to his death, and there was no better way but to go against it. When Seungyoon showed him the way he usually took to go to the Biochemistry building, when Seungyoon told him to go left, Mino just pushed him to go right and so on.

While they turned right after the Biology building, Seungyoon halted for a moment, recognition glistening in his eyes, but it lasted so shortly that Mino wouldn’t have notice if he didn’t know better. Or if he didn’t know Seungyoon.

They walked in the Biochemistry building without any trouble and Mino picked the stairs instead of the elevator, which was the usually slighted option. They had to reach the fourth floor and Seungyoon even found a way to make fun of it, whilst Mino just couldn’t put two words together and preferred to stay in silence.

Seungyoon was almost late and rushed a bit on the last stair of steps, leaving Mino behind. He walked down the hallway, his shoes ticking like a hasty clock on the linoleum, Mino nearly running to reach him. And then he stopped, turning his head to a door on his left, which burst just two seconds later in a sudden explosion of noise.

Mino saw it more than heard it: the man leaping out, the scream his ears couldn’t listen to, when his eyes were focused on the man’s face, rage and desperation morphing it, twisting it till it wasn’t human anymore. He saw but didn’t hear the weapon in his hand slashing the air and landing – there must be a hell of a noise – on Seungyoon’s shoulder. He saw Seungyoon screaming too and that was when his feet made him finally move, running toward those two as he realized he couldn’t, he wouldn’t allow it. No one could harm Seungyoon, no one –

He gripped the man from behind, trying to pull him away, but his arm moved again and he hit Seungyoon once more. Mino shouted in rage, his hands hurting the man, clenching around his skin as he tried to put him down to the floor. The man twisted, trying to reach Mino with his weapon – an axe, he recognized only now – but the security broke in the hallway and pulled Mino away just in time.

Mino was safe, a man from the security keeping him away from the murderer, but he needed to see Seungyoon and know he was out of danger. The man kept him pinned to the wall, trying to shush him, to quiet him, but Mino was deaf – he couldn’t hear a thing since the moment Seungyoon had been attacked and he wouldn’t hesitate for sugar-coated lies now. He pushed and elbowed the man, he even tried to kick him, and he eventually was free.

He walked and tripped and when he fell he just crawled few meters more.

Seungyoon was on the floor, anyway.

He could be sleeping, but the blood splayed on his chest told Mino otherwise. His face was pale – too much, too eerily. Mino touched his cheek and felt the warmth of life on him, yet Seungyoon wasn’t breathing anymore.

He was…

The security yelled at him and dragged him away, his feet stubbornly planting on the floor every time they tried to push him a little further, and few minutes later they were carrying _his_ body away, to the ambulance waiting for him outside. Someone told him to stay calm, to stop screaming, and someone else said he needed to be checked by a doctor, but Mino couldn’t stop himself from trying to break free from all these hands keeping him there, all these men closing around him. He needed to see Seungyoon once again, even if he knew.

It couldn’t be, it just couldn’t, but Seungyoon was dead and Mino was sure about it.

October 10, 2014

The murderer had been someone like Seungyoon, someone working at the university, going mad after the council had denied the approval for his project. Something he had worked on for his whole life, the journalists said, and that he couldn’t see fading away in the dreadful oblivion of anonymity. He had gone mad, growing crazy day by day till he couldn’t bear it anymore, and the only solution left was an arbitrary, blind revenge.

What an irony, Mino thought. What a fucking joke – Mino laughed till tears came running on his cheeks and his stomach hurt and his voice break in a whine, and his sister asked him to please stop because this was even worse than crying for real, but he couldn’t. Mino just wouldn’t accept it.

Seungyoon lying in his coffin, white velvet surrounding him, wouldn’t leave him alone. Seungyoon’s lifeless face was haunting him every time he closed his eyes. And the pain was something he couldn’t even describe, something he just felt inside him, but he was sure it was just a taste of the real sorrow he would feel from now on, every morning when Seungyoon wouldn’t be next to him, oversleeping like always, every moment he would be simply alone, in a world without Seungyoon.

That wasn’t a world he wanted to live within.

Mino knew what to do – Mino _had_ to do it.

October 8, 2014

“Didn’t we agree you would choose everything today?”

Mino smiled at Seungyoon, holding his hand tightly. “You’re the one knowing your way around here. I’m just a visitor. Let’s turn left like you said”.

Seungyoon stared at him, clearly unsettled. There was something bugging him, something that became more insistent as soon as he saw the smile on Mino’s face. Mino wasn’t a good liar, not with him. “Did something… happen?”

He was too smart for his own good.

“Nothing”. Mino just shrugged his shoulders and led the way, this time following the path Seungyoon had showed him. He wanted to warn the security in the hall, but he wondered if that delay would cost him the chance to save Seungyoon, so in the end he didn’t waste that time and went straight to the elevator with Seungyoon.

When they stepped out, Mino naturally went on, his hand still holding Seungyoon’s as he walked and looked around guardedly. The stairs were at the left end of the hallway and Seungyoon insisted they had to go right, so they turned and headed toward the council’s room.

Mino waited… and waited… even though he should had just run away from that man.

A part of him wanted to hurt him.

He knew it was crazy.

They reached the room without trouble and Seungyoon stepped in, flying a kiss to him before disappearing behind the door. Mino beamed at him and then turned away, just in time to see another door violently opening and the man bursting out, bloody axe in hand and twisted face like the last time.

The man breathed hard, frantically looking around with spirited eyes. When he saw Mino standing by, he snapped out from the maze of his thoughts and charged.

Mino had enough time to run away, but he just waited. He saw the man running toward him and the desperation in his eyes, and then he was already on him, his blade digging inside his flesh. Mino screamed in pain, his muscle cut in two, the blood spreading…

_Turn back in time, back in time…_

Mino saw the man running toward him and the desperation in his eyes, and then he jumped away just in time, away from his weapon, and used the surprise to seize his waist and toss the man on the floor, along with him. Mino was taller and bulkier and he grabbed and twisted the wrist of his hand holding the axe, twisted and twisted till he could hear the _crack_ of breaking bones.

The man tried to leap forward and bite him, his other hand digging in his skin with hate, but Mino was stronger and his wrath knew no limit.

“You… you took him away from me”.

The man seemed to snap back to reality, bewildered by his words. He tried to speak but Mino wouldn’t let him.

Tears he didn’t know he had welled in his eyes as the fury took his toll of him, and his hand wound around his neck. For a moment he forgot everything but the accelerated thump of his heart in his chest and the power he had over that man – but then he remembered. Seungyoon was still alive and somewhere near, and he hadn’t lost him yet. There was no point to avenge something that had happened in another life.

All he had was to use the opportunity and enjoy the possibility of having him back.

The security men came running and yelling from the stairs and soon Mino was dragged away from the murderer. When someone asked him what he was doing, Mino answered with something that would suffice even later: “He tried to attack me. He wanted to kill me. I just tried to defend myself”.

And there was no reason to doubt him.

“See, we changed the future”, Seungyoon cheered that evening. “And I am officially a researcher with a regular and legal wage”.

“Yes, you are”. Mino smiled softly, still feeling like it was a dream and he had to tiptoe to be sure not to wake up from it. But then Seungyoon laughed and came to sit in his lap and his hands circled his face, tracing his features one by one, and he pressed a kiss on his lips. And Mino was at ease.

November 1, 2014

Sometimes Mino dreamt of Seungyoon lying on the floor, blood soaking his shirt – too red, too bright against the whiteness of his face. He had tried to ignore it, at first, but now he had decided to just fight it in the only way he knew it: use that experience to create something with his art. It was a critical, painful and difficult work to do, but he had to, to be able to look at Seungyoon without worrying about it anymore and to live without the ghost of his death haunting him the whole time.

Morphing the scar left in his soul in something obscure but sincere; that would do.

He spent his time dissecting every detail to the point they were just abstract concepts without any sorrow engraved within. Until he could manipulate them without hurting.

That day he was fully immersed in his new work. A huge canvas was in the middle of his small studio, sketches were scattered all around on the floor, haloing his chair in white paper and black ink. He ducked once in a while to check some detail he might have forgotten and then straightened to paint it.

Seungyoon called around noon to check if he was ok and then in the afternoon, asking him whether he had eaten and he needed something.

“Blueberry pie”, Mino said softly, already licking his lips in anticipation.

He went back to work and forgot about time, like he always did when he was painting. It always seemed like he had spent just few minutes on something, only to find out it had been hours.

He went on like that for a while, aquamarine colouring his thumb as he guided the brush with precision, but a call stopped him just before he could add some ochre in it. Mino picked up without looking at the screen, sure it was Seungyoon.

“Babe”.

“Hello”, a foreign voice greeted him. Mino furrowed his brow, suddenly unable to shake away the bad feeling rising inside him. “Are you… are you close to Mr. Kang? Your number was the first coming up in the list of dialled calls”.

A beastly fear was taking over his body, but Mino managed to say a weak yes. _Yes, he was close to Mr. Kang. He was fucking close to him_ – he wanted to scream.

The man on the other end of the line hesitated, taking a deep breath before speaking. “I am the police officer Nam Taehyun and I’m calling because Kang Seungyoon has been shot during a robbery in a bakery near his home. I called his mother first but she lives too far away to reach the hospital tonight and… it would be better to just have someone close to him, if possible. It’s not sure he will…”

That was enough.

It was too much to simply bear – Mino just put the phone away and tried to breathe, listening to the silence around him. It was fine. It was going to be fine. Seungyoon couldn’t possibly… he wouldn’t leave him alone –

“Not another – not another fucking time”.

His chest tightened as the words echoed in the room.

“Not again”.

He couldn’t go through this once more. He just couldn’t.

Mino tried to steady himself, a hand on the wall as he fought the panic, breathing regularly even when the need to just fall in a more erratic rhythm was so tempting. He needed to focus, he couldn’t just let his sanity slip away so easily, not when Seungyoon was involved.

He had to turn time backward, but he just couldn’t in that state. He tottered around and reached the kitchen, falling poorly next to the cabinet where they always put the liquors. Seungyoon told him – every single time – to not finish the Irish whiskey because it was his favourite, and even this time his words didn’t fail to stop his hand.

Mino opened the bottle of gin, instead. He gulped some down, his tongue burning in the process. When he was sure he was calm enough, he put the bottle down, wiped his mouth and squeezed his hands in fists.

There it was – that thin equilibrium between conscious and unconscious, images flashing in the darkness of his closed eyes, and the time _bending_ right under his hand. Mino focused on a specific moment, daring to break the fluid flowing of time once more, and jumped back to that afternoon.

He didn’t look at his painting and wasted those hours waiting for Seungyoon’s call. When the phone finally ringed, Mino asked him to come back home as soon as possible. He sounded wrecked even if he tried to cover the worry with all his might.

And twenty minutes later, there he was: Seungyoon, flesh and blood, safe and sound, _his_ Seungyoon walking toward him with a worried expression on his face.

Mino just hugged him tightly, making Seungyoon mumble against his cheek in surprise, and squeezed him between his arms, muttering that he was so happy to have him in his life. Seungyoon managed to pull away just a little bit, so that he could look at him in the eye, and chuckled for the cheesiness, but then stroked his cheek with his thumb, lovingly.

“I’m home”.

November 8, 2014

That time Mino and Seungyoon had a date – film first and food later, like they loved to do. Mino told Seungyoon he was late so it was better if he went ahead and bought their tickets, and he just couldn’t figure how Seungyoon wasn’t there yet when he got to the theatre.

 _There had been an accident across the street, though_ …

Mino didn’t want to believe his own presentiment. It couldn’t be right. It would have been the third time in just few weeks and that couldn’t possibly be casual – if Seungyoon had known, he would have said the chances of this happening more than twice were definitely against all the odds.

Mino didn’t believe in fate, he had never done, not once in his life. He knew well enough how choices could change lives. But as he crossed the street, running even if he tried to stay calm, and saw the splash of blood on the ground and followed it gingerly, fearing his worry could be real, he just knew this wasn’t normal. There was something he couldn’t explain with rationality.

Seungyoon was dead again and the only thing he could do was going back to that morning, hoping that choosing differently could save him once more.

December 5, 2014

There are things that no one should live more than once in their life.

Mino was pretty sure that experiencing the death of his boyfriend over and over again was one of those things that would drive anyone crazy. And he wasn’t better than anyone else.

He could feel his sanity slipping away every day a little more, the fibres of his being falling apart in a way he couldn’t control. He just couldn’t pretend anymore – it was hard to even look at Seungyoon without hurting, and all he could do was locking himself in his studio and paint. If what he was doing could be called like that. Half of his canvas had been teared apart in moments of wrath he just couldn’t hold back, his nails digging in the thick painting and reaching the fabric underneath.

Mino knew that Seungyoon was worried about him too. He justified himself by being in a very inspired mood, but that was just the façade he had to maintain as he felt wrecked by even the smallest thing. Every detail of Seungyoon could make him jolt, nowadays.

He knew this was his way to react to the pain he had lived too many times – every time, it cut deeper, a new wound opening on his still unhealed heart.

That day Seungyoon asked him if he was fine and Mino could swear he knew something by the way his eyes lingered on his face, requesting the truth. Mino wasn’t able to say it.

“I am ok, Seungyoon-ah”, he tried to sound joyful as he threaded his fingers in his fluffy, long hair. “Just a little bit tired because of work”.

Seungyoon nodded mechanically and scooted closer, flushing his side to Mino’s as he placed his head on his shoulder. “I miss you”, he whispered.

“I am here”. 

“Are you?” Mino hated himself for looking at him at that, but he wasn’t able to bear the edge in Seungyoon’s voice. Seungyoon was staring at him with a determination he only had when he was at work, in his lab, surrounded by people who would understand his intentions, and rarely used when he was at home with Mino, where everything was at ease and simply natural.

 _Until now_ , Mino thought.

Seungyoon bit his lower lip, wavering for just an instant. He had nerves of steel, he had always had, and he started speaking soon. “I have had dreams I can’t explain. Visions that didn’t happen – I guess it’s like those times when my visions are wrong because the future is uncertain, it can happen. But I think this isn’t the case”.

The worst thing, Mino had noticed, was that everything was his fault.

Maybe he could have survived all of this with his optimistic noisy self if it wasn’t for the guilt he felt, deep down in his guts. It was gnawing, munching, tearing him apart. It was something he couldn’t fight all by himself, but at the same time no one should know about it.

It was his fault if Seungyoon…

“I dreamt of so many unexplainable things and I keep telling myself it’s just a case, something it could happen but hasn’t because I – but then there is you and I have this feel when you look at me, I have this certainty that –“

Mino wanted to ask whether he had dreamt of him too. Because every time Seungyoon died, Mino was involved. And every time it was his doing, his choices, his being that led to his death.

Mino didn’t have the courage to say it.

“I am sure that I’ve died. More than once”, his voice trembled. It had to require a strength Mino didn’t have.

Guilt was like poison – and the fear of losing Seungyoon was ever worse. There was no one he had ever loved like this, no one who could be in his place. Seungyoon was everything Mino had ever wanted, or even more, what he didn’t even know he needed and wanted until he had found him. He was what enriched his life and made it worthy. He was the reason he had been happy.

“I am sure you saved me, going back in time. This is the only way to explain all of this. I had… I had this feeling since the first time I avoided death, at the university. I knew that being with you would change the course of events, but there was something off in how you reacted to everything. Like you knew what you had to do. Like you had already been there before”.

But it had been Mino being there that had killed him in the first place. It had been Mino all the time. And he was too scared to act again, to speak and do and just be, because everything could bring Seungyoon to his death. Again and again.

“What are the probabilities of this happening more than once? The universe must want – this is not casual, I think. Maybe I have to –”

Mino knew what wasn’t casual. He remembered well what Seungyoon had said once: “ _What are the odds of you and me meeting and ending up together, though? We must be a joke to the universe.”_

Maybe this was the only way the universe could balance it out.

They weren’t meant to be together.

“So… am I right?” Seungyoon was looking at him sincerely. He was scared but he wanted to know the truth. His hand searched Mino’s and squeezed it.

Mino couldn’t answer it. He was too much of a coward to stand the look Seungyoon would have by knowing this was his fault. He wasn’t ready to see the love in Seungyoon’s eyes turning in hate and spite and regret. He didn’t want to lose him, not even in that way.

December 17, 2014

Mino hadn’t believed in fate, once.

He was pretty sure, though, of what kind of fate laid ahead for the two of them.

He couldn’t possibly live in a world without Seungyoon – and Seungyoon couldn’t escape death when they were together. Now he understood the vision of him giving up on life; he knew too well how weak he was when he was left alone. His strength was Seungyoon and him only.

Mino wasn’t even strong enough to let everything go. But he had to.

He decided that as he sat in his favourite corner of his studio. His hands were dark with the blue and black he had used to paint, but he could see blood on them.

January 4, 2015

“What’s that?”

Mino smiled at Seungyoon’s evident surprise. “Our dinner, Mr. Kang”.

He had put the nice table cloth and lit a candle in the centre of the table, but the main point of their dinner was the food Mino had cooked all day long. Side dishes dotted the white linen here and there, so many that Seungyoon said it had to be a king’s meal.

“You were locked in that lab for more than ten hours”, Mino pointed out, “I wanted to surprise you and I think I did it pretty well”.

“If you weren’t taken already, Mr. Song, I would date you”.

Mino made himself laugh at that and put a slice of fish on Seungyoon’s rice, showing his affection in that small gesture.

They ate quietly, like they had all the time in the world. One by one the dishes were emptied and one by one Seungyoon told him about all the things he had done that day at work. He was a good talker, not boring and quite entertaining even if he didn’t aim to make you laugh, always putting a bit of heart in everything he said. Mino loved listening to him.

“So, there is this protein we’re studying, never mind the nomenclature, what you have to know is that we made so many tests and essays to find data about it and after everything we know, that’s not enough to explain its functions”.

Mino munched a spoonful of rice and nodded.

“And do you know why is like that?” Seungyoon grinned smugly. “You could collect every data about a human being and still not know how that person will act. That is because it depends on the environment and the people he has around. It depends on who he cares about – what does it matter if he weights seventy kilos or has blue eyes? The interaction between things – _elements_ of the system – is what makes the system special. That and nothing more. Which is why we can’t understand our protein at all, we’re missing information”.

Mino nodded again, his thoughts far away.

“Isn’t that cool? The interaction, that’s enough to give property to the system that no one could imagine by just thinking about the bricks composing it. And that’s something that applies on every level of Biology. Even you and me”, he chuckled, but Mino just smiled faintly.

Yes – _even you and me_. And that was something that must disrupt the equilibrium of things to such a huge degree that the only answer was to end it.

“I’ll wash the dishes, you did too much already”, Seungyoon gave him a soft smile.

Seungyoon was tired, but Mino couldn’t just go to sleep like that.

He nudged his nose in the crook of his neck and breathed in. Seungyoon always smelled good. His lips left soft pecks along his vein, halting on his two moles.

“You’re tickling me”, he nagged, but he sounded too amused to make it sound like a real complaint. Mino chuckled against his skin and smiled when Seungyoon flipped them around.

“You won’t let a poor soul have his well-deserved rest”, he said, planting a kiss on Mino’s bare chest. He travelled down and further down, smiling along the way.

“I love you so much”, Mino said and Seungyoon stopped, his hand wounded around his hip, his chin resting on his navel. He beamed at that, like he always did when Mino was that sweet.

“Me too”.

Mino let him explore his body with a purposeful laziness, rediscovering curves and corners he had forgotten, and when Seungyoon slid down on his length, taking him inside, welcoming him, Mino let his hands roam on his torso, his fingers tracing those muscles he had learnt to know by heart.

He prayed he would remember them forever, even when he was old and worn-out. He prayed he would be able to remember his body flushed against his own and the way Seungyoon said his name – so sweetly intoxicating – and how he bit his thick lip to withhold the moans Mino drew out with his moves. He prayed for each and every detail to be impressed, marked inside him.

“I love you – I love you – I love you”, he told him, for the last time.

April 7, 2012

“What do you mean you can’t come to the inauguration of my bar? You’re a fool, Song Mino, if you think you might survive my wrath. You’re my best friend, you’re my half, the apple of my eye – you little bastard, if you miss this, I’ll hang you from your dick and feed you to Haute later”.

“I am sorry, truly. Something came up at home and I can’t just say no to my sister. You know how I am”.

“I know it too fucking well”, Seunghoon sighed, more well-disposed than earlier. He had a warm heart, down all the levels of sassy sarcasm and cunning intellect.

“And I’m pretty sure everything will be more than fine without me. I mean, I am sorry, and I’ll come to your bar as soon as I can, you know me, I hate to let friends down. But it’s my sister. And you know what? So many people are gonna come to the point you’ll have to order some more food”.

“Really?” he sounded sceptic.

“I could bet it on Haute. You’re Lee Seunghoon, you’re fucking famous in the city. And you know how many people I know. I told everyone to go to the inauguration”. Being a social butterfly had its perks.

“You shouldn’t bet on _my_ dog”.

“You’ll see”.

Mino knew too well how many people would gather at his bar. And among them, Seungyoon. All he had to do was avoid that first meeting and let that change the course of events.

October 8, 2014

Mino felt anxious even though he was pretty sure everything would work out just fine.

If the problem was him and Seungyoon being together, that had been removed already. Mino sighed in the scarf tightened around his neck, the pain spreading inside him.

He missed Seungyoon – he missed him all the time. He missed him when he woke up and he wasn’t there, when he grabbed a brush and painted and there was no one waiting for the complete work, when he went to try new food or to watch a new interesting film and he was alone.

He missed him whenever he closed his eyes and remembered the way he smelled and how his skinny arms would sneak under his coat to steal the warmth underneath. And how warm he was against his side, on the couch, when he read some papers for his work. And how his lips would curl in a smile when Mino said something silly and he would send him flying kisses before he left _their_ home.

Mino missed everything of him.

He found himself lucky to be living in his old flat instead of their place – at least they had shared only few memories in the former.

(Mino remembered their first time on his bed, the way Seungyoon had tasted in his mouth, the way he had licked the raindrops on his skin, and how he had felt perfectly in place inside Seungyoon)

Mino shook his head and took another sip of his hot coffee, waiting. He almost burnt his tongue when he saw Seungyoon walking toward the Biochemistry building and he took a sharp intake of chill air as he watched his movements.

He smiled fondly, seeing the blue coat Seungyoon loved to wear. Some things didn’t change, no matter what.

He entered the building and Mino fought the urge to follow him, his fingers clenching around the cup till he spilled its content on his legs. “Fuck”.

He waited for what felt like hours, anxiety growing inside him: what if he had mistaken everything? What if it wasn’t his fault? What if Seungyoon just had to die for whatever unknown reason? And what if Mino couldn’t just let it happen, again and again?

It was fine if he was the only one suffering, the only one forever scarred by this. But Seungyoon had to live. That was the only thing he wished for. The only thing that could keep him going on without losing it.

Mino _had_ to believe Seungyoon would be fine without him.

And then he was there, stepping outside the building with a huge smile plastered on his face.

He had the job of his life. He had what he had always dreamt of.

Mino got up, knowing he had done everything right. In that moment, Seungyoon turned and glanced up at him – Mino saw his eyes stopping to look at him and the lack of recognition in them. Seungyoon didn’t know him, not in this life. 

All the moments shared together were memories that only lived in Mino. They had never been. They’ll never be.

Mino turned away abruptly. His hands shook as he tried to breathe normally. He closed his eyes and started to walk away.

He had to go away as quickly as he could. He needed to go home.

He needed…

But at least, Seungyoon was safe.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old fic I wrote for the Minyoon ficfest Patti and I organized few years ago. I have posted it on my AFF account when it came out, but I've decided to put it on here too, even after all these years, because it's one of my fave works. 
> 
> Mino's power is inspired by the movie "About time".


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